Muslim Names 4U

Many people are concerned about their children's unstable characters and the effects of luxury on their personalities. How can we introduce strength and honor into our children's characters?

Answer

Praise be to Allah. The issue referred to in the questions is one of the most serious problems in raising children nowadays. Some of the Islamic solutions to this problems and ways of instilling strength and honour in our children's character are listed below:

Takniyyah (using the kunya or patronymic? in addressing children). Calling a young boy 'Abu Fulan' (Father of so and so) or a young girl 'Um Fulan" (Mother of so and so) will make the child feel more responsible and grown up, so he will become more mature and will feel above normal childishness.

Taking them to gatherings and letting them sit with grown-ups. This will increase their understanding and wisdom, make them try to imitate adults, as well as keeping them form spending to much time on games and entertainment.

Talking to them about the heroic deeds of earlier and subsequent generations, Islamic battles and victories. This will encourage them to be brave which is one of the most important parts of being strong and honourable.

Teaching them good manners for example as narrated by Abu Hurairah from the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The young should greet the old, the passerby should greet one who is sitting and the small group should greet the larger group" (Al Bukhari)

Giving them the praise and respect they deserve in fronts of others as shown in the following hadith. Sahl ibn Sa'd said that the Prophet (pbuh) was brought a cup and he drank from it. There was a boy the youngest of the people, on his right ad some elders on his left. He said, "O young boy, will you allow me to give this to the elders?". The boy said, "I will not give away my share of your blessings to anyone, O Messenger of Allah. So he gave the cup to him. (Bukhari)

Teaching them manly sports. Such as archery, swimming and riding horse.

Avoid humiliating them especially in front of others.

Never belittling their ideas and encouraging them to take part.

Consulting them and asking for their opinions. Giving them responsibilities in accordance to their age and abilities.

Teaching them to be brave as appropriate - including how to speak in public.

Making sure their clothes are modest and protecting them from inappropriate clothing, hairstyles, movements and ways of walking.

Making sure that boys do not wear silk, as this is only for woman.

Avoiding extravagance, luxury, laziness and idleness.

Avoiding entertainment or pastime gathering, singing, music and other wastes of time because these go against strength, honour and seriousness.

Dealing With Slowness In Children:

This behaviour can be divided into 2 categories: deliberate and unintentional.

Unintentional slowness often occurs in younger children because of their inability to understand the concept and value of time as do adults. Parents can play racing game to help speed things up, set up realistic expectation according to the child's age, break down the tasks in easy and manageable segments. Parents can also plan for additional time for the child to complete the task. Deliberate slowness often occurs in older children as a form of indirect avoidance in doing the task. A solution for this is for parents to reward the child for completing the task in a prescribed period of time.

Encouraging Children To Pray:

Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Asr, narrated that the Apostle of Allah said, "Command your children to make salah when they become seven years old, and spank them for it (salah) when they become ten years old, and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately. " (Abu Dawud)

-Informal teaching should start when child starts to show interest usually occurs around the age of two.

-Let them pretend to make salah.

-Invite them to pray along side and join the family jemaah prayer.

-The next step is to learn al-Fatihah which should begin around the age of three or four.

- Break down the instructions by using reasonable number of verses or small segments.

-The practice session should only last between 5 to 15 minutes. At this age consistency is more important than length of practice.

-Important to remember that not all children are ready at the same time and that not everyday will the child be ready to learn new materials.

-Educational products can assist parents in achieving success with their children because children generally learn in different ways therefore introduction of material through different format (video, coloring book, going to the masjid) will help ease and reinforce the learning process.

-One of the most important thing that a parent should do is to praise the child for each accomplished task and encouragement to achieve more success.

Turn Off The Television:

- Explore the great outdoors.

- Encourage reading and acquiring Islamic knowledge.

- Enrol in classes.

- Get to know your family better.

- Visits library, zoo and museum.

Television is one of the biggest negative influences on our children and is responsible for desensitising their minds about the environment they live in…TURN IT OFF !!!!!!!

Being Fair and Just with Our Children:

The Messenger of Allah also said: "Treat your child equally, treat your child equally, treat your child equally." (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Ibn Hibban)

Al-Nu'man ibn Bashir said: "My father conferred upon me a slave as a gift. He took me to Allah Messenger (saw), to get a witness. The Messenger of Allah said, 'Have you given a gift to every son of yours such as you have awarded Al-Nu'man?' He my father said, 'No.'

The Messenger of Allah said, 'Be mindful of your obligation to Allah and do justice in respect of your children.' My father came back and revoked his gift." (Agreed upon)

Usama bin Zaid (ra) narrated: Allah Messenger (saw) used to put me on (one of) his thighs and Hasan bin Ali on his other thigh, and then embraced us and said: "O Allah!

Please be Merciful to them, as I am merciful to them." (Bukhari)

Suggestions to minimize the negative aspects of sibling conflict:

• Show affection with younger children. Especially after arrival of a new baby.
• Acknowledge child's feelings of jealousy and frustration.
• Design a reward program for cooperative behaviour between arguing children.
• Avoid comparing children especially if they are at different developmental levels.
• Treat them fairly and be careful not to show favouritism.
• Lastly remember that fighting between siblings is normal. If handled correctly can be a learning opportunity for the children.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites